Sunday, February 19, 2006

upping the ante

Scroll down. You'll remember how i despise LA. Unfortunately, I ended up at a club called Vig27 . ugggghhhhhhh! BOR-RING!

Here are the best lines of the evening:

Hot Guy: I need a new girlfriend.
Me: May I suggest--MYSELF!

Mid-30s Guy (to Sejal, SaS, and I as he exited with an older woman): STAY HOT.

Friday, February 17, 2006

I guess it's that time of year

If you'll remember, it was about this time last year I wound up with a mysterious black eye. Well, this one (and I apologize for the lack of picture) is not such a mystery. I got elbowed in the mosh pit at Flogging Molly last night. I'm short, I tend to get damaged. My eyebrow swelled about a centimeter, but once it went down I dove back in the pit and promptly fell and twisted my ankle. Ah, I'll never learn. And in about 20 years, elderly arthritic Sue is going to HATE young fearless Sue.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

stunning customer service

in the last two hours, i have received possibly the best customer service of my life.

1. I dropped a prescription off at my new pharmacy during my lunch break. When I returned to pick it up after work, the pharmacist REMEMBERED MY NAME!

2. I just found out that my Warren, PA bank account has been overdrawn for weeks, but, instead of subjecting my debit card to the embarassing decline, Northwest Savings Bank has honored all of my purchases. Guess it pays to keep the bank account you've had since you were 10.

Rock.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

the LA vibe

in the last week has been ridiculous. first, on friday at the addVice party, everyone was wearing those big anal bead necklaces, which are totally an LA thing not a new york thing. then, last night we went to some silly Hiro party which was about the nicest place in the world. ugh, i HATE nice places. can we please go to Mars Bar? with all the construction going on in the LES, this whole town is turning into LA. fuck Whole Foods on the Bowery. that's about the biggest oxymoron ever. and fuck those seven UGLY, tall, glass buildings on Houston that used to be parking lots... FUCK the bridge and tunnel crowd in the LES. GODDAMN this town is going to shit.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

nuts to good deeds.

Every six months or so, i gather all of the out-of-style clothes from around my apartment and put them in a big garbage bag. The bag usually sits in the kitchen for a month or two until i take it to the clothing drop box down the street or take it to Beacon's Closet to make some cash.

The first time i took the bag to the drop box, I walked to the L train, and said to myself, "Self, I know this stupid drop box is on the way to the train." No such luck. i didn't find it, but the bag was so heavy I left it with the trash outside of a cafe.

I've gotten a new job since then. I walk 30 minutes every morning to it. On my walk i pass the drop box i'd been looking for the first time. "Hooper and South 4th," I tell myself every day so I remember for next time.

I threw a soiree on New Year's, was cleaning the house, and needed to get rid of my winter bag of clothes. So I took the huge garbage bag to the drop box, the address of of which I had branded in my mind.

But, the drop box wasn't there. No sign of it anywhere. So I left the bag of clothing on the steps of the church across the street, because I assumed that if they weren't responsible for the drop box that they could at least use the clothes, doye.

Then I went to Walgreens to get a prescription filled. As I was leaving, I saw the following:

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

non-urban areas: another manifestation of my hatred

fucking eh, i hate rural areas. first it's my damn cell phone in canada. even in the bustling metropolis of windsor i didn't get a signal. nice country!

now it's wireless. i got a new computer since the last time i was home to my mother's place in the WC. she only has dial-up and i am not abount to subject my precious G4 laptop to such provincial technology, so here i am, at the only place in all of Warren County with wirelss: Liberty Street Cafe, a semi-fancy joint with place settings where the waiters are surely expecting me to consume more than just my lone cup of coffee. haha! Joke's on you guys, suckas!

the thing is, i went to the the substantially less fancy Fresh Cup Cafe over on Pennsylvania Avenue expecting that, surely, it would have wireless. it's a cafe in the downtown business district, for fuck's sake. NOPE.

now i can myspace to my heart's content!!!

fuckers. i hate places that are not technologically adept.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

best google referrals

ohkay, this is going to be a weekly(ish) feature in which i present to you the best things people have googled to find my blog.

1. Todd Barry is boring
2. Hasidic skirts
3. Rockstar haircuts

The first dude shares my sensibility, the second is a Hasidic mother shopping for skirts, and the third is lame.

Friday, December 16, 2005

a cup of tea she would admit to no one

the week is going well. on the agenda for this weekend:
-tonight: i may go to a taping of Comedy Central Presents with Todd Barry. I may not go for a few reasons: 1.) I get out of work too late, 2.) I find Todd Barry's monotone deadpan boring, 3.) it's in midtown. then a swank party with SaS that will be comprised of mostly gay men. i hate gays.
-tommorrow: on a quest to find the perfect christmas present for my uncle rich. he's dying of cancer. when you know it will be your last christmas with someone, what do you get them? a $100 bottle of scotch? fuck, that won't work; he has liver cancer. all i've gotten him so far is a case for his Nano and an itunes giftcard. seems pretty trivial to me. later in the evening i may attend the party mary kilcoyne is billing as slutty, drunken insanity. again, most of the guys will be gay... i'm starting to see a trend.
-sunday: i should look into the yoga sitch. i've been quite sluggish lately. in winter mode. need to get some exercise and i'm thinking of switching gyms. (last year, i went to ghetto Exodus near the lorimer stop, but it doesn't have a whole lot of classes, so i'm thinking of going to maxim, if it's opened.)
at some point during the weekend i need to start my year in review. we shall see.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

T-giving

hiya! happy day before thanksgiving, everyone! my triumphant return to the WC will be later this eve (sadly, I could only get a night flight.) but, i couldn't be more exicted to see my mommy and brother. one great element of the trip will be domesticity. this holiday season, i've set my mind to learning all of my mother's and oma's German recipies, no matter how much lard they use! the perfect mashed potatoes? mouthwatering stuffing? tommorrow the knowledge will be mine!

in other news, i've discovered that 'women's laxatives' are for wusses. fiber is the way to go. just an fyi.

see ya soon!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

billy: wiser than you'd expect

me: billy, why is everyone in my life such a girl?

billy: because you hang out with girls

me: no... just all these people who like to talk about their emotions

billy: you can always smile and walk away. say you haves omething important going on across the room and as much as you'd like to console them blah blah blah. say something about a family member or "cutting".

me: i'll keep that in mind.

billy: in high school they had an office devoted to girls who cut

me: really?!

billy: as sure as we had a day care center in my college

billy: hey sue can I ask you something. I dont want to be in your business but how much do you pay for rent.

me: billy, that is the least in my business anyone has been in the last 5 hours